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Otakon 2003
I attended Otakon 2003, August 8th-10th. It was an entirely enjoyable experience. For those of you that couldn't make it, I'll recount the whole thing for your enjoyment. I'll be going fairly in-depth, so you can share in my triumphs, and laugh at my misfortunes.
Wednesday:
I woke up bright and early Wednesday morning (an abnormality for me), because I knew I had to get everything together for the trip. I was taking a bus (a decision I would soon regret) at 1pm, and I still had some last minute errands to do to prepare for the convention. I spent the morning running around packing, repacking and re-repacking. I always get that feeling... you know... the one where you're convinced you're forgetting something, but you don't know what?
I got to the bus station on time and without any problems, dragging a huge bag with all of my posters, prints, art supplies, etc, as well as an oversized, thin box that housed my large posterboard comic displays (it was a gigantic pain in the ass). The bus route was supposed to take me from Cape Cod, MA, to Providence, RI, to New York, NY and finally to Baltimore, MD.
The trip started out great. I ended up sitting next to a couple of fairly cute Irish girls (I'm a sucker for a girl with an accent) and being Irish myself we struck up a conversation. They were really cool, and I enjoyed talking to them. I remember being relatively pleased with my decision to take the bus.
I am an idiot.
We switched buses in New York, which was their final destination, so we said our goodbyes and I boarded the bus that would take me into Maryland. I prepared myself for another three to four hours of conversating with whichever new, cute, foreign girl happened to sit in my vicinity, because hey... it was inevitable right? How could my luck change?
But no. I get to sit surrounded by the most obnoxious people on the planet. It was as if the most obnoxious people on the planet had formed some sort of secret club that normal, tolerable people weren't allowed to join, and they had all decided to take a field trip, and sit in the back of the bus. Around me.
I got the joy of sitting directly next to a young man who was so brain damaged that I could actually smell the brain damage. At first I thought it was Calvin Klein's latest atrocity, but then "Nope", I said to myself, "that's brain damage.". This kid listened to a discman for ninety-percent of the ride to Baltimore (not a short trip from New York, I assure you), which you would think would be a perfectly unobtrusive activity. NO! This child had decided that he wanted to sing, and had probably at some point realized that his voice was strikingly similar to the sound of someone shoving a pitchfork up a dolphin's ass. Yet rather than further discover that it would be a mercy upon the world to NOT sing, he chose to sing over the voice of someone with talent. So while this kid was belting out the most horrible noises vocal chords are capable of, and he himself was hearing the voice of whichever artist's song he had decided to butcher, I had to listen to the sound of my eardrums preparing Hari Kari.
I would have killed him. I would have. Yet I knew that if I had opened my mouth, or stabbed him repeatedly with the chair's armrest, I would have been descended upon by Club Obnoxious, and my first Otakon experience would have come to a premature end.
I am an idiot.
We got into the bus station right outside of downtown Baltimore around 11:30-midnight, and I quickly found a cab to take me to my temporary hotel (to be explained later). The guy quoted me a price of an even $20, and didn't turn on the meter. I thought this was a tad suspicious. I decided that he was not logging the ride, and had planned to pocket the cash. It was fine with me, as long as he didn't decide to murder me and use my body as a rag with which to wax his cab.
All in all, I made it to the hotel and passed out watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back on HBO.
Thursday:
Thursday is where the real fun begins. I went down to Baltimore on Wednesday because any other bus schedule couldn't get me there until late Thursday night, which was too late for my taste. I had arranged to stay with a group of 20-25 people in a three bedroom suite in a hotel right near the convention center. Originally the main purpose of this was to cut down my travel costs drastically. The benefits ended up being way more valuable than money.
The people I was to stay with were a regular anime-fan group. They were all friends, and they were regulars at the convention scenes. They did this type of thing all the time. Granted I was a bit nervous about being thrown into a group that had a past history, and being the outsider, but I figured if worse came to worse, I would be at the convention nearly all day anyway.
I woke up early, packed up and checked out of my temporary hotel, and started the eight block trek to meet up with my new roomates in the lobby of my permanant hotel. Eight blocks is nothing unless you're carrying a lot of really large and awkward baggage, and the weather is more humid than a monkey's armpit.
I only had to wait a short while before the first wave of them showed up. First impressions are very important, and they all made a great first impression on me. I can only hope I did the same. They were very cool people, and I felt immediately comfortable around them. We checked into our rooms, and as soon as they cleared off one of the bureaus and loaded it up with alchohol of all varieties, I loved them to death.
This is how it looked the first day. Beautiful, isn't it?
I had agreed to volunteer to help out with convention set-up in return for expediting my registration process (Otakon was a last minute arrangement for me, so I hadn't preregistered or anything... I really wanted to avoid the ridiculous lines). So a couple of the people I was staying with and I headed over to the convention center and I was put to work. Nothing too difficult. A bunch of moving stuff, a bunch of running errands. Peice of cake. I got my early registration, and I was happy.
Back at the hotel room, I got to meet more of the group, and continued to be impressed. We all had a few beers, and chatted for a while, and then once the majority of the group had arrived, we decided to go to Hooters for dinner. Best. Decision. Ever.
Alcohol is an incredible ice-breaker, on the account that it totally destroys inhibitions. I partook of a large amount of said alcohol in the form of Killians with my new friend Matt, and a general good time was had. The last bit of the group met us at the restaraunt, and we all hung out there for a while, discussing horrible, horrible incidents of past cons that I will not delve into because they are memories too horrible to share, but will suffice to comment that it involved "Tea" and the "bagging" of such. I also tried to apologize to our waitress for the drastic amounts of crap she must have to put up with from guys, working a job like that, and I think she was amused. Or she was planning to slip rat poison into my drink. We left before I found out for sure.
Some of the cool people I roomed with.
Back at the hotel we decided we had had enough alcohol and went to bed. Haha no, I'm just fucking with you. We drank a lot more. A lot. Previously I had stated that going to Hooters was the best idea ever, but it turns out that networking two X-Boxes and playing Red vs. Blue teams HALO was the best idea ever. Anyone who has watched that web series knows what I'm talking about. I was on the blue team, and was playing as Tex. We played capture the flag, and I must say, I destroyed. I had three flag captures to win the game, and while I'm sure I'm going to have to give up some props to my teammates for their assists, I was on fire that night. We then played free-for-all, which I dominated as well. Insults and RvB quotes were thrown recklessly between rooms, and it was the pure awesomeness in real-life form.
 God bless these boxes... the source of divine entertainment. I would tell you what else happened that night, but frankly, I ingested too much alcohol, and I must have flooded the record/playback function on my brain. Sorry.
Friday:
The first day of the convention. Miraculously, I wake up early enough to make it to the Artist's Alley before it opens. This is the last time this will happen for the rest of the weekend.
I get down there, and they let me in ten minutes before they open the doors to the masses. I was still setting up my junk when the people arrived. I'm not sure how to really describe what it's like being an artist at a convention. I was surrounded by my work for people to look at, and yet I was stationary, so I couldn't run away when people came by.
Right off the bat a couple of my fans found me, and I got to chat with them for a little while. One of them even wanted to hug me. Go figure. It's really an awesome experience talking to people that enjoy my comic strip. They're in awe of me, and at the same time, I'm in awe of them. I love it. I doubt I'll ever get used to being a quasi-celebrity, but it sure is fun.
I went to Otakon thinking that maybe there would be a dozen or so people that knew who I was. There were tons. It blew me away how many people came up to me and said 'Hey man, love the strip'. And then there were the people who had no idea who I was, or how I was at their precious anime convention, but they all stopped to read my comic strips and posters, and they all laughed. Out loud. It was awesome.
And they also all bought stuff. And for some reason they wanted me to write all over it for them. I happily obliged. To my surprise, the comic prints and Otakon Only posters that I had had made up for me to sell, and which I had assumed would last me the whole weekend, sold out by the end of the first day. I was stunned.
A friend of mine from ConnectiCon showed up and kept me company, a really cool girl named Ellen. She tortured and tormented me, and kept me from going insane when things got slow.
After a long day of talking to hundreds of really great people, I closed up shop and went running through the streets of Baltimore with a CD in hand, until I found a printing company that could make me more posters and more prints to get me through the weekend. I was successful, and so I dropped off the artwork and headed back to the hotel to meet up with all of the really, really cool people I was staying with.... and drink myself into oblivion again.
Now let me stop to explain something to you all. I am not a drunk. I swear. I did however make a really cool mixture of Triple Black and Midori, which I drank most of before it was stolen from me by one of the cute girls in the room, Kim. I will never know what the last drop of that delicious concoction would have tasted like, and I blame her.
Uhh... ok. Anyway.... all of the people I was staying with were totally awesome. I really can't say that enough. Well... except for a couple of them, who I will not name, and will not give reasons for. The group knows who they are, and why, but I doubt the individuals do, as they didn't seem like the sharpest tools in the shed, and I plan to leave them in their ignorance.
Saturday:
Woke up late. I blame the alcohol. I figured it was no big deal, and no one would notice if I was a couple of hours late. Once again, I underestimated my popularity. When I arrived at my table I was greeted by a note from the Artist's Alley organizer informing me that people had been asking where I was all day long, and that if I was not going to be at my table at all times, could I please give here a schedule of my appearances. Interesting.
It was another hectic day of meeting people, selling stuff and hanging out. Ellen hung out with me some more, as well as a couple of my new friends that I was rooming with. It was really cool to have 'booth friends'. It made me look like I had an entourage, and was more important than I really am.
I also got to meet Pontus Madsen, of Little Gamers. This was definitely a high point of a weekend full of high points. I had talked to Madsen a few times via email before either of us left for Otakon, we he came across as a really cool guy. Having been a fan of his work for quite some time now, and equally surprised to find that he was a fan of Ctrl+Alt+Del, I was most definitely looking forward to meeting him.
I met him at his booth, and somehow he recognized me before I had even said a word. Terribly unnerving. Anyway, he gave me an awesome Little Gamers T-shirt (he must have thought my current clothing was too hideous) and I gave him a couple of signed Ctrl+Alt+Del posters. You see how I obviously made out better here, right? Anyway, we agreed to hang out later that evening, and I went back to my table to receive more compliments and money.
That evening I took a break from the Artist's Alley deal, and went out to dinner with some really great people. Matt Daigle, the conchair for Connecticon, Mookie, the talented and loveable artist behind Dominic Deegan, Shawn Handyside who created Staccato, and a couple of people I don't know, but were cool nonetheless. We walked like ten blocks to a really incredible and pricey italian restauraunt. The view was great. And by that I mean there was a bachelorette party going on in the next room, filled with lovely ladies. The meal was excellent, best garlic bread I've ever had, and we happened to leave at the same time as the Bachelorette party. I tried to score a ride in their limo, but they informed me that they had already hired their stripper for the evening. Shucks.
Saturday night at the hotel was much quieter. It was sort of a free-for-all night, and a lot of our group was off doing convention stuff or at other parties. I had actually been invited to an IC (the company that puts out Megatokyo's printed work) party by my friend Ellen, and was planning to attend at some point. Then Madsen called my cell phone and told me that the very same party had been broken up by the cops, and asked if he could come hang out with me. So I stayed in, drinking and conversing with all manner of people, waiting the arrival of Madsen and his following.
I forget what time Madsen showed up, as one isn't terribly inclined to look at a clock when booze has blurred all sense of time, but I know it was in the wee hours of the morning. I'm not sure I can describe just how cool he is. We basically all just sat around, drinking a bit, and talking about so many different things, it's a bit hard to recap. And they weren't drunken, stupid things either... we actually had meaningful discussions and debates on some very really issues. Go figure.
Also, Madsen's mastery of the english language is rather superb, and you hardly notice his accent. All in all, I would hang out with him any time, anywhere. I consider myself extremely fortunate to be able to call him my friend.
But we still had to kick his ass out of the room around 6am, because somebody wanted to go to sleep. Wasn't my choice. Sorry Madsen.
Sunday:
Late again. Alcohol? You betcha. But I also blame it on the fact that we had to clean up our hotel room a bit, which filled 2-3 garbage bags of beer bottles and alcohol containers. But we didn't drink a lot. I swear.
Two hours late to my table. Deal with it. Sunday was a really short day in the Artist's Alley, but I figured I'd show up anyway, maybe sell a couple more posters, talk to a few more people, etc. I got to hang out with some more fun fun people, but eventually it was time to pack up. It was a little sad... it had been such a great weekend, but it was coming to an end.
My friend Kim helped me lug my stuff back to the hotel lobby, where we met up with some of the group. I said my goodbyes, and I was informed that I was welcomed to join them at any con they attend. That meant a lot to me. They were such cool people, and I would spend time with any one of them in a heartbeat. To know that they didn't hate my guts made the whole weekend that much better.
 Kim and I as I'm preparing to leave, in the lobby of the hotel. I was walked to a cab, which I subsequently took to the bus station. Again, the driver (a different driver mind you) quoted me a flat price, and left the meter off. This must be common practice in Baltimore, for cabbies to rip off the companies they work for.
The ride home.... hmm... how shall I put this.... sucked donkey balls. Yeah, that works. I had originally planned to take the 5pm bus. But when I got there, there was a huge line of people for the bus back to New York. So the 5pm bus filled up. And then the 5:35pm bus filled up. Although, in the line I was actually recognized by someone as a web comic artist, and we struck up a conversation, which helped pass the time. He even let me play his GameBoy Advance SP, which I was immediately hooked on, and had to buy when I got home. I blame him. I ended up having to wait until 6:55pm before I even got onto a damn bus-shaped automobile.
And then the fun began.
As we were leaving Baltimore, our driver got on the p.a. system, and proceeded to shout at us about not smoking, and not drinking, and that if we did so, he'd pull over and kick us off the bus. He also informed us that if he called the police on us for any reason, that it was federal law that we serve a minumum of sixteen years in jail. I was laughing... I thought he was the coolest guy in the world.
I fell asleep and woke up as we were pulling into Delaware, to pick up more people. I actually woke up to the sound of him screaming at me to wake up, and sit up (I had stretched out across two seats). When I sat up, he told me that if I tried to put my bag on the seat next to me, he would call the police, and I would serve sixteen years in jail. I was a bit stunned. The bus was obviously going to fill up. I slide over to allow a couple of british people to sit next to me. That was when we witnessed the funniest and most disturbing event of the day.
Up front, a woman (who had been on the bus since Baltimore) was refusing to move from the aisle to the window seat, because she said it felt wet. She said the the person was welcome to sit there, but that she had been there first and was not going to move in. The Bus Nazi (and you'll agree with me on this nickname at the end of this recounting) ordered her to move into the window seat under threat of calling the cops (he liked to do this, in case you couldn't tell). She refused, and at this point one of the other people on the bus spoke up in this woman's defense, informing the Bus Nazi that he couldn't order her to move, that she was there first, and that the person just boarding should take the empty seat. The Bus Nazi told her to shut up or (yep you guessed it) he would call the police.
This bold young woman invited him to do just that, and this tubby, over-reactive, power-tripping Bus Nazi did just that. And so we all had to sit there and wait while this moron sat us at the bus station in Delware, in the middle of the night, and waited for a police officer to arrive. At this point everyone on the bus was yelling things to the bus driver, because clearly he was an idiot.
The police showed up, and removed the woman from the bus. We sat there for twenty minutes while the three of them argued outside. And you know what? (This is the part that really pisses me off), The Bus Nazi won, and the lady wasn't allowed back on the bus. We left her standing at the Delaware bus station with the police officer, while that retarded Bus Driver got back on and explained to us in a deceptively calm tone...... that if he removed us from the bus, or called the police to remove us from the bus, federal law stated that we spend a minimum of sixteen years in jail. And how long did you spend in jail for being a complete and utter waste of skin, I wonder? I wanted to throw something sharp and heavy at his head.
After disembarking at New York, I had to wait two hours before catching the bus to Providence, and then I had to wait four hours before catching the bus back to Cape Cod. Suffice to say, I was absolutely exhausted, and completely drained. I can honestly say, though, that it was one of the most entertaining weekends of my entire life.
And that was my trip to Otakon 2003. I had to leave out a lot, because there are parts of my life that you don't get to be a part of (sucker!), but you get the idea. I'm going to wrap it up with thank you's.
First and foremost, a HUGE, HUGE thank you to the Bakahime group for inviting me into their circle, and offering to let me stay there. Clint and Kim, Justin, Justin, Justin, Sarah, Sarah, Andrea, Matt, Matthew, Jared, Jason, Lesley, Krish, George and anyone I may have forgotten... I love you all... you rock to the very last person, and I look forward to hanging out with you in the future. And next time I'll bring the Absinthe and show you all up.
Mookie, did you have the bread? It was great hanging out with again man. Any time... always a pleasure.
Matt Daigle, thanks for dragging me through the ghetto and almost getting me killed in order to bring me to that really great Italian restaraunt. I'll see you next year at ConnectiCon 2004.
Madsen... you damn Swede. You're too cool. Stop it. I'll try and get you to some more cons over here in America. Maybe Christian can come too so you can tell me again how much he doesn't do anything on the comic. Oops.
To my fans... you are all incredible. I love meeting you, and hope to meet more of you in the future. If you want me at a con near you, write them letters telling them that you want them to invite me. It might work!
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